


Crazy in love

by Royalyanjun



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Cliche, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, OT3, Roommates, Tags Are Hard, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-05-15 09:42:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14788089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royalyanjun/pseuds/Royalyanjun
Summary: Zhu Zhengting and Cai Xukun are a lot of things, group mates, co-parents to a group of unruly group mates and oh yeah they were friends... with a lot of benefits between them.But things change when lin yanjun someone zhengting has never really interacted with despite knowing him for months ends up being his roommate.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so I have a huge writer's block on distractions, so I decided to write this old cliche story. 
> 
> This is originally a one shot but it got too long so this should be three chapters max.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it

Debut. What a beautiful word. The word every trainee wanted to hear.

 

Zhengting was beyond nervous; he has to make it this time and not just for himself, but for his brothers, his family, his company that put so much faith in him. 

 

They were backstage, just a few minutes before the announcement that will change their lives forever. Zhengting looks around the room where nineteen hopefuls trainees were, they have all worked themselves to the bone these past four months so they all deserved a spot in the top 9.

 

Zhengting sees Justin and Cheng Cheng holding hands, he sees Ziyi wrapping an arm around Xukun and he looks away. The sight makes him a bit uncomfortable, given his relationship with Xukun.

 

He sees Bufan and Xiao Gui arguing just for old times sake, he sees Yanjun holding a nervous looking Zhangjiang in his arms.

 

Zhengting takes a huge breath and tries to calm his erratic heart. What if he doesn't make it? What if Justin doesn't make it? What if Cheng Cheng doesn't make it? No that wasn't an option. Zhengting thinks.

 

If he doesn't make it then fine, he can take it, but not his brothers, not Justin who was so young and was already going through this the second time and not Cheng Cheng who has finally began to find his place as Fan Cheng Cheng not Fan Bing bing’s brother.

 

The other person he cares the most about besides his brothers, was Xukun, his best friend, his fuck buddy… well not really, they haven't done anything beyond kissing and the occasional blow jobs and hand jobs.

 

Anyways now really wasn't the time for him to think about any of that. Their relationship and everything else, pales in comparison of what was about to happen.

 

Out of all the people he cares about, Zhengting was the least worried about Xukun, he knows the other boy will make it. It's Cai Xukun, the man who’s loved by millions of people. So yeah, he knows Xukun will make it and probably one or both his brothers and that's what he tells himself.

 

“Don't think too much.” A voice says, startling him.

 

Zhengting turns and sees Xukun with Justin and Cheng Cheng behind him. They were all looking at him with similar smiles. The kind of smile that reminds him of their last night at the dorms. When they were sharing their fears and hopes.

 

Justin hugs him first, then Cheng Cheng, then finally Xukun who holds his eye contact over Justin and Cheng Cheng's heads.

 

“We'll be fine, we are all going to make it. They don't call us the golden four for nothing.” Justin says confidently referring to the name the fans had given them.

 

Zhengting hopes Justin is right. There is nothing he wants more than to debut with the three people he cares most about.

 

“All right trainees, this is it, after months of hard work, it's all comes down to this.” The shows producer tells them.

 

“I'm so proud of each and every one of you who has made it this far. Thank you for all your hard work and your perseverance, I know that at times, the staff, the mentors and I were all tough on you kids, but that's because we want to see you all be your best, my dear trainees, time has come for you to finally debut. I wish you all the best of luck.”

 

While the speech is going on, Zhengting feels someone grab his hand, it was Xukun, so he grabs the next person’s hand, who just happened to be Yanjun who smiles at him, hengting still can't get over how handsome the man is. 

 

Yanjun grabs Zhangjing who grabs Chaoze's who grabs ling chao's who grabs Bufan's who does the same to Xiao Gui who does it Xingjie and it goes on until it reaches Rubin who reaches for Justin who has Cheng Cheng's who has Xukun and it becomes a full circle.

 

The twenty of them have shared something no one except the ones in their circle can understand. Zhengting has in one way or another shared a special memory with each and every person in the room. Memories he was going to keep forever.

 

Zhengting could feel the bond between all of them and he knows no matter what happens out there, their friendships will stay on forever, plus the other 80 trainees who were all part of their journey who were out their ready to cheer on their friends who will be achieving their dreams, the same dreams they all had months ago when they stood on that stage as 100 and greeted the citizen producers who will vote for them.

 

Tonight they were going to thank them for all their hard work. Zhengting hopes that his fans hard work who he himself has witnessed on social media will not go to waste.

 

“All right, it's time to go on stage everyone.” One of the staff says and each and every one of them just holds tight to the hand they have and after a moment everyone let's go and they head outside.

 

Well here goes nothing.

Zhang PD starts to call the names from rank 8, cause rank 9 is what everyone will be hopeful for.  In this case it will be between, Zhangjing, bufan, Zhenghao and wenjun. Zhengting wasn't sure who he wanted to make it, they were all special to him.

 

No one wanted to be 10th but someone has to be.

 

Rank 8 is Xiao Gui, who has been very stable in the top9, he hasn't fallen off it once so it's not really a shock just that he's rank dropped from the 6th place he was used to.

 

Zhengting watches as Xingjie congratulates his brother with all his heart and how Bufan gets in one hit before Xiao Gui headed over to make his speech.

 

Rank 7 is Ziyi, and even though Zhengting and him didn't really get along at first, they got along and now Zhengting can honestly say Ziyi was one of his best friends,

 

Zhengting was beyond happy for him,because he knows exactly how hard he worked to get there. Ziyi's ranking is not a shock either, many expected him to make it.

 

Rank 6 is up next and for some reason Zhengting feels like maybe this will be his rank. He can't even explain it, it's just something that tells him that this one is his.

 

“The trainee is from Yuehua Entertainment, he is Zhu Zhengting.” Zhang PD calls and something bursts in him. Excitement,  happiness, relief you name it. Zhengting was feeling all of it. His brothers pounce on him, jumping excitedly. Xukun comes put his hands on his cheeks. The touch burns deep in his heart.

 

Zhengting can't believe it as he walks down to the stage, he was going to debut finally. After all those years of training and hard work. Zhu Zhengting has finally achieved what he had wanted for so long.

 

Zhengting gives his speech in a blur, he can't even remember what was coming out of his mouth other than thank you. To all his dear fans and his brothers who have stood by him.

 

Zhengting goes to take his place, he hugs Xiao Gui and Ziyi on the way, then he seats down and waits for his brothers and kun to come join him. He also releases one big sigh of relief that he is sure he has been holding since the show started.

 

Rank 5 surprises everyone because it's someone unexpected, its none other than Lin Yanjun. The man with the killer dimples, who can sing and rap. The man who flirts with everyone. Yanjun bows in the middle of the runaway to thank his fans.

 

Yanjun makes his way to deliver his speech while tearing up, then he makes his way to his seat which is above gui’s . Yanjun hugs his new teammates. He offers Zhengting a smile which he nearly swoons at, dammit when will lin Yanjun stop affecting him. They barely talk to each other, though he is sure that is about to change.

 

Rank 4 is up next and now is the time where Zhengting starts to pray it's one of his brothers  any one of them will do. 

 

“This trainee is from Yuehua Entertainment…” Zhengting nearly jumps from his seat, he sees Wenjun move from his spot and come to stand near Cheng Cheng and Justin who are nervous as well.

 

It's Justin, Justin his little brother made it, the one person who knows Zhengting inside out. His little brother has made it and now Zhengting is tearing up. He can't believe they both made it. Zhengting jumps on Ziyi who is next him and waits happily as Justin gives his speech.

 

Zhengting cries happily when Justin hugs him and swirls him around.

 

“We made it Ge, we really made it.” Justin whispers in his ears, his tone full of excitement.

 

“We did, my dear brother, we did.” Zhengting replies emotionally. Justin then goes to hug yanjun who was his team mate in the last song. The two of them seem to have bonded.

 

Rank 3 is up next and Zhengting and Justin both start hoping that it's Cheng Cheng, the boy has been in that position since the beginning of the show. Eternal third place.

 

And it sure is, Cheng Cheng has made it too, Cheng Cheng who didn't want anyone to think of him as just his sister's brother, Cheng Cheng who messed up during their audition, Cheng Cheng who managed to prove that by working hard, you can show everyone who you really are.

 

Zhengting couldn't have been more proud of him, fan Cheng Cheng deserves everything he has right now, he has more than earned his right to debut. And zhengting is more than ready to fight anyone who says otherwise.

 

Rank 1 and 2 is up next and zhengting is not surprised when xukun and Linong are called to the stage, the boy who wore pink with a bowtie is now grown up and but he still has that same smile that made everyone like him.

 

As for xukun, well he has grown up too, but he was still the xukun zhengting fell in love with all those months ago, the same xukun who held zhengting in his arms and told him that his dream was for them to debut together. And it looks like that dream will come true.

 

Zhengting was sure he was dreaming because xukun gets first place with a whopping forty seven million votes.  Damn he has some dedicated fans that's for sure.

 

As zhengting watches xukun tearfully give his speech, he is hit by a realisation. And as cliche as might sound, zhengting realises that he was in love with his best friend. The same boy who was his first kiss, his first almost everything. Also the same boy he was now stuck with for the next 18 months.

 

Zhengting freezes, this wasn't supposed to happen. Xukun didn't want a relationship, it was the first thing he told him when they first time they kissed after he ranked first in the dance category.

 

_ Zhengting was very happy, he placed first in the dance category and his brothers also placed first in the others. _

 

_ He was happy they were all doing so well despite being tired and the huge amount of pressure on them from the company. _

 

_ “ hey” a voice startled him, zhengting turns to see xukun smiling brightly at him. Zhengting feels those butterflies that he thought were dead after forcing himself to forget about his stupid crush on his best friend, come back to life with a vengeance. _

 

_ “hey”  _

 

_ “ congratulations” xukun said and moves forward and hugs him tight which zhengting returns. _

 

_ But before he could pull away, xukun kissed him softly before he pulled away. _

 

_ Zhengting stared at him wide eyed. What just happened? _

 

_ “ stop avoiding me, zheng. I feel the same way” xukun told him, holding his face in hands making zhengting look him in the eyes. _

 

_ Then he kissed him again and zhengting returned it this time. It was his first real kiss and it felt everything he thought it would be. _

 

_ Zhengting was blushing when xukun pulled away, his heart beating fast and his head in the clouds. _

 

_ But he was brought back down to earth by xukun's next words. _

 

_ “zheng-ge, I like you but I don't want a relationship, so I was thinking we should be friends with benefits, that way we can be together but not actually together” _

 

_ Zhengting had been gobsmacked but for some reason he agreed to it and that's what they were. _

 

“zheng, you alright?” zhengting  feels someone nudging him, he turns to see the concerned face of ziyi.

 

“ oh I'm fine, just a bit overwhelmed” zhengting replies with a smile.

 

Xukun approaches him with tears streaming down his face, he grabs zhengting in a tight hug. He knows exactly why xukun was crying, it was what he said last night. 

 

_ “ I don't know if I deserve this. I'm not sure I'm worthy of being first place” _

 

“ don't cry kunkun, you deserve this. I promise, congratulations” zhengting whispers comfortingly. 

 

“ thank you” xukun whispers back and zhengting is transported back to their first hug when we they had made it into top 9. This hug felt different yet the same somehow.

 

Xukun pulls away and goes to hug the others before taking his place at the top. The one place zhengting was sure was made for xukun.

 

And just like that, it's time to announce rank 9 and now everyone is on alert again. It's time for the dreaded 9th place. 

 

The four candidates all stand together, zhengting can see how nervous wenjun is, he cares to dream that all four of them will make it. When he glances around him, he sees Xiao gui clearly hoping bufan will make it, yanjun was almost on his knees praying for Zhangjiang to make it, xukun looks hopeful that haohao also known as their child among the trainees will make it.

 

Zhengting hopes it's either one of them, because he really can't choose.

 

Bufan is 12th and zhengting sees Xiao gui deflate despite keeping a smile on his face, zhenghao his child with the squishy cheeks, his child with xukun is 11th and suddenly zhengting wishes that the show had kept the original top11.

 

Xukun looks so disappointed and zhengting wishes he could go up there and hug him tight. Zhenghao means alot to xukun. 

 

And it's down to wenjun and Zhangjing. Zhengting can literally feel the goosebumps on his skin, Justin is wringing his hands, Cheng Cheng is looking up, and yanjun is now standing.

 

“ and the final trainee to join our debuting group is from...banana entertainment you Zhangjing ”

 

Zhengting jumps from his seat to clap, he was sad for his brother but also happy for Zhangjing,  

Zhangjiang who had been his teammate during the mentors stage, Zhangjiang who offers anyone help with vocal lessons whenever they needed it.

 

Zhengting watches wenjun give his speech and he feels bad that his brother is the one who got the dreaded 10th place.

 

Zhengting's heart aches as wenjun gives his speech, before all eyes turn on Zhangjing who delivers his. Zhangjing then goes to greet xukun at the top before making his way down the stairs.

 

And Zhang PD finally makes the long awaited.  

 

“ ladies and gentlemen, citizen producers, I now present to you, the newly debuted NINE PERCENT.”

 

Zhengting feels giddy with excitement. They have made their debuted. After four months of hard work and perseverance. They have finally made it.

 

Zhengting looks up and sees xukun looking down smiling at him before giving a nod and he greets the producers asking them to take care of them in the future as nine percent.

 

Then they all make the long bow of gratitude.

  
  


Then it was all over and they all head backstage where they are swamped by their fellow trainees, their mentors and their families. So many familiar faces, emotions are all running high.

 

But right in the middle of all the chaos, zhengting looks for one person, he wants to see him again. And as he makes his way towards him, zhengting bumps into someone else.

 

Someone who just recently became his new teammate. Lin yanjun.

 

“ hey” the Taiwanese greets him with a smile.

 

“ hey” zhengting greets back.

 

“ so um congratulations again” yanjun tells him.

 

“ same to you” zhengting replies, as he looks beyond yanjun's shoulder he sees xukun looking at him for a moment before he turns away.

 

What zhengting doesn't realise was that night, was the start of everything.

  
  


The day after they debut, the members of nine percent after spending the night with their families, meet at the office of their new management to sign their brand new contracts. Each member is a accompanied by his company’s manager and a lawyer with the exception of xukun. He only has a lawyer present.

 

The members seat in a conference room while the adults do the negotiations , feeling completely out of place.

 

“ am I the only one who thinks we are all in some weird dream and tomorrow we are gonna wake up back at the dorms with the other trainees” linong asks with a voice full of wonder.

 

Like the young boy really believed he was dreaming. Zhengting can't help but smile fondly as he ruffles the younger boy’s hair.

 

“ no nong, I think we all feel the same way” zhengting says to him.

 

Everyone nods as linong looks at them.

 

“ some of us more than others” yanjun says quietly but everyone hears and look at him.

 

“ what am I doing here, I don't belong here” he says with a sigh.

 

“ yanjun” Zhangjing reprimands his friend. Zhengting can see linong frown at yanjun's words and everyone feeling a bit uncomfortable. So he does what he's always done, he runs his mouth. 

 

“ oh you belong here dimples, so suck it up. You are stuck with us for the next eighteen months”  Zhengting tells him seriously. And everyone looks at him like he was nuts. Justin who knows zhengting very well just rolls his eyes.

 

Yanjun looks shocked for a moment before he bursts into laughter, and with that the horrible tension that was in the room is gone and yanjun shoots zhengting a grateful smile.

 

They spend the rest of the time talking about their contracts, and their impending trip to the U.S. 

 

Signing the contracts after everything has been discussed takes a little time and soon they are all shuffled in a van and are taken to their new dorms.

 

It's both exciting and a bit nerve wrecking, their new house is a bit huge and nothing compared to the dorms back on the show. The kids ran inside the house excitedly and zhengting sees Justin dragging Linong along.

 

He shakes his head at the sight, poor linong is gonna have to get used to justin and his hyperness. After checking out their impressive house, they all gather in the living room where they have make some decisions aka who is rooming with who and who is going to be their leader.

 

Zhengting doesn't want to be the leader here, because he will be promoting with two groups and he can't be the leader to both.

 

So he withdraws from the list as soon as his name is called out by linong.

 

“ okay, so zhengting is out, then we have me, yanjun, xukun and ziyi left” Zhangjiang says.

 

“ well I don't want to be leader either, I don't think it will be a good idea with everything going on” yanjun says referring to the way the internet has been on his case since he got into top 9.

 

Zhengting has seen some of the hate and he got angry on the behalf of his new member. Some people on social medias really have time on their hands.  

 

In the end it was down to xukun and Zhangjing which the older backs out and says he really didn't have much experience on being a leader,  while everyone had seen just how good of a leader xukun was on the show. Even when he wasn't a leader he was always the first one to help everyone, even those who were not on his team.

 

Xukun accepts the responsibility but he looks a bit out of it, so zhengting touches his hand that was resting that was on the armrest near him, xukun gives him a grateful smile. 

 

Feeling naughty, zhengting leans forward over linkai who was between them and whispers “ congratulations duizhang” as seductively as he can and quickly leans back when xukun tenses.

 

Linkai looks between them before shaking his head in disgust.

 

“ yeah they do that” Justin tells him with fake sympathy which earns him a slap on the back by zhengting.

 

“ okay, now duizhang,  you get to assign roommates”  Zhangjing tells xukun.

 

How about we just put our names in a hat and draw out two names, since there are three bedrooms, that means three in each. The oldest will pick first.” xukun suggests.

 

Ziyi gets up to go find some pen and paper, he comes back and everyone writes their names before putting them in Yanjun's black hat.

 

Zhengting has no clue who he wants to room with, he is fine with anyone who isn't Justin and Cheng Cheng. He has roomed with them enough.

 

Zhangjing's first pick is Justin.

 

“ oh thank God, have fun with him jing-ge” zhengting teases which earns him a glare.

 

His second pick is linkai and Zhangjing groans, two hyperactive kids, good luck dear friend, zhengting thinks.

 

Yanjun as second oldest is up next. “ all right let's see who is gonna have the pleasure of having me as a roommate.” He says with a smirk.

 

“ you mean the displeasure right?” Zhangjing counters.

 

“ whatever helps you sleep at night” 

 

Yanjun's first pick is Cheng Cheng and the younger boy jumps to hug yanjun. Those two as two roommates may end up being a disaster. Zhengting may not know yanjun very well like the others, he does know enough and he most definitely know Cheng Cheng.

 

His second pick is Zhengting.

 

Wait What? Oh crap this means he was gonna be the one stuck with those two.

 

Both yanjun and Cheng Cheng pull him into a group hug and he groans loudly.

 

This meant the other three were roommates. Zhengting feels that familiar pang when he sees xukun hugging ziyi, truth be told,  he was hoping he and xukun maybe roommates and that maybe if they spend even more time together, xukun and him may turn into something more than just friends with benefits.

 

But it seems fate has other plans and xukun seems perfectly content with having ziyi and linong as his roommates, like he hadn't even considered the possibility of being roommates with zhengting.

 

That stings a bit.

 

Zhengting and his roommates get the second room. It has two bunk beds and a single bed, which he quickly claims before Cheng Cheng does.

 

Yanjun takes the bottom bunk while Cheng Cheng gets the top bunk much to the your boy’s displeasure. The atmosphere in their room is a bit awkward but relatively comfortable.

 

Zhengting's phone vibrates and he takes it out and sees a text from xukun.

 

_ Bathroom. Downstairs  _

 

That's all it says.

 

Zhengting sighs, would it kill xukun to send him a “hi” with that text.

 

“ bad news?” someone asks and zhengting jumps, that's when he notices that it's just him and a shirtless  yanjun who was opening his luggage. Cheng Cheng was nowhere to be seen. Zhengting stares at him until he realises what he is doing and quickly averts his eyes

 

“ no” zhengting replies before getting up and quickly left the room. The house had two bathrooms. One which was upstairs and another one downstairs and zhengting knows exactly why xukun picked the one downstairs.

 

Xukun is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs, the living room is empty because everyone is either unpacking their luggages or just hanging out in their rooms. Xukun smiles at him when he gets to the bottom before he grabs zhengting and pulls him into a kiss.

 

“ I've missed you” xukun says hugging zhengting. This is exactly what made zhengting fall in love with him. He acts like Zhengting's boyfriend but if someone asks him what they were, he would flat out deny there was anything between them. 

 

It's was quite painful to endure sometimes, but most of the times zhengting grits his teeth and bears with it.

 

“ we were only separated for one night” Zhengting answers with a snort as he pulls away.

 

“ maybe, but I did miss you,  I always miss you for some reason”  xukun says seriously. 

 

Zhengting looks at him wide eyed, xukun has never said anything like that to him. Zhengting opened his mouth to say something, anything but he just couldn't. Then he tried again but this time they got interrupted. 

 

“ zheng-ge, have you seen my bag of shoes?” Justin calls from the top of the stairs.

 

Zhengting groans, seriously Justin has the worst timing, he wants to have this conversation with xukun.

 

“ zheng-ge” Justin calls again.

 

Zhengting shoots xukun an apologetic look but the leader just laughs.

 

“ better go find him before he comes looking for you, if he finds us together, we will never hear the end of it” xukun says with a smile.

 

Zhengting pecks him on the cheek before going up the stairs, leaving a blushing xukun behind.

 

\-------------------------------------- 

 

Zhengting doesn't get a chance to speak to Xukun again, because after helping Justin find his stuff, Cheng Cheng needed him too for some reason. Then it was just time to sleep, since the three of them had some schedule with yuehua and they had to be up early.

 

Zhengting wakes up first and for second is disoriented and can't even tell where he is.

 

Then he hears some soft snores that sound nothing like Justin's and suddenly it all comes back to him, he also remembers, that he and the rest of his yuehua brothers have a schedule. They were flying to Thailand for a photoshoot.

 

And they can't be late. 

 

Zhengting goes to the bathroom to get ready first, before waking up Justin and save Cheng Cheng for last because the boy can sleep through anything. Back on the show, he had to enlist Bufan's help every morning to literally drag his ass out of bed.

 

Zhengting gets ready in a record time and slowly tip toes to Justin's room.  He finds Justin on the bottom bunk, as usual snoring like a freight train, yeah zhengting didn't miss it at all.

 

“ hey, Justin, get up” zhengting whispers as quietly but effectively as he can.

 

The youngest member groans.

 

“ come on, you need to be ready, we are going to thailand”

 

“ I know, five more minutes”

 

“ nope, sorry baby, come on up” zhengting says as he walks away knowing Justin will listen to him. He always does.

 

Zhengting sighs when he thinks of what awaits him with Cheng Cheng. He slowly walks back into the room. 

 

“ Fan Cheng Cheng , up” zhengting calls.

 

Nothing

 

“up before I throw some water on you”

 

Nothing.

 

Okay time for plan b, look for someone to drag him out of the bed, where was bufan when you need him?. Zhengting looks at the occupant in the bottom bunk, he can see his muscles, nothing to brag about, but he will do.

 

Of course lin yanjun slept shirtless.

 

“ yanjun, hey dimples, wake up” Zhengting says shaking the sleeping Taiwanese.

 

Yanjun wakes up and startles nearly sending zhengting and himself to the floor. “ what the fuck?”

 

“ shh, language” 

 

Yanjun shoots him an incredulous look.

 

“ okay, I need your help,  drag Cheng cheng’s ass out of bed for me please” Zhengting asks sweetly.

 

“ What?”

 

“ he won't get up, so I need your help to drag him out of that bed”

 

“ and why would I do that?”

 

Zhengting grits his teeth when he sees the smile on Yanjun's face that he was trying hard to hide, that bastard was enjoying this.

 

A wicked thought flashes in his mind, he decides to do what he always does when xukun refuses him something.

 

“ please yanjun-ge, pleaseeee” zhengting says with an exaggerated pout and puppy dog eyes. And nearly laughs at the uncomfortable look on yanjun's face. 

 

Works every damn time.

 

When zhengting doesn't let up, yanjun sighs and agrees.

 

Zhengting runs out of the room to go get some breakfast for them. When he gets to the kitchen, he comes to a screeching halt when he sees ziyi shirtless in the kitchen. Seriously why was he getting attacked so damn early in the morning?

 

“ good morning Zheng” ziyi says to him with a smile and offers him some toast.

 

“ morning, thanks” zhengting manages to say without tripping all over his words as he takes the offered food.

 

“ why are you up so early?” zhengting asks as he sits down at the kitchen table. The house was really something, looks like iqiyi really thought it through.

 

“ force of habit I guess, I knew you guys would be up and I was bored so I decided to make you guys some breakfast” ziyi explains.

 

“ aww thank you, I was just gonna make those kids some breakfast but now I don't have too.” zhengting says with a relieved tone that has ziyi laughing, as he pours himself some orange juice.

 

The two of them sit in silence as zhengting eats and ziyi resumes cooking, it feels different but really comfortable and maybe they will get used to this sooner than they think.

 

Then they hear footsteps and zhengting rolls his eyes knowing exactly who was coming down those stairs.

 

“ no running on the stairs justin” he calls out.

 

At the look Ziyi gives him, he shrugs “ you get used to it, he's always running on stairs”

 

And as if on cue Justin bursts into the kitchen and just drops himself on one of the chairs before grabbing a piece of toast and ramming it into his mouth.

 

“ Huang minghao” zhengting exclaims in disgust.

 

Justin swallows his food before apologizing “ I am starving, sorry” 

 

Zhengting just shakes his head in defeat.

 

Justin then seems to notice ziyi and his half naked self and the look on Justin's face was enough to warn zhengting of what was coming.

 

“ um Ziyi-ge, since when was breakfast clothing optional?” Justin asks sarcastically.

 

“ good morning to you too kid” ziyi answers unfazed.

 

Justin gapes at him, see Justin is used to getting under people's skins, so the fact that he didn't seem to faze ziyi was sort of a shock to him.

 

Zhengting holds back his laughter at the look on the youngest’s face. He was about to say something, when yanjun comes in through the door dragging Cheng Cheng with him, a dressed half asleep fan Cheng Cheng. 

 

“Special delivery” yanjun says as he puts Cheng Cheng into a seat.

 

“My hero” zhengting replies, hugging yanjun which throws the taiwanese off. 

 

“Okay” yanjun says awkwardly pushing zhengting of him.

 

Zhengting tries not to smile at his awkwardness.

 

“Hey kun-ge, hey nong nong. ” Justin says loudly ending the awkward silence that has enveloped the kitchen.

 

Zhengting turns around so fast to see his best friend, standing there with an unreadable expression which quickly goes away zhengting thinks he was imagining it.

 

Zhengting can't help but stare at xukun, how does he look so good when he just woke up, xukun in a black tank top and a pair of black shorts is gonna be the death of him.

 

“So um since Yanjun-ge is also half naked, I'm gonna ask the question again, is breakfast clothing optional?” Justin asks seriously.

 

Zhengting sighs before hitting Justin on the back of his head “Shut up just,finish eating, Cheng Cheng you better start eating fast, the car will be here in 20 minutes” 

 

With that zhengting leaves the kitchen, but then he comes back “ oh and yanjun-ge, thanks for your help and ziyi thanks for breakfast”

 

\--------------------------------------- 

 

Zhengting finishes checking their luggages and makes sure he carries Justin’s allergy medicines and whatever else they may need. Zhengting is getting into his leader mode, because in the next one week,  he will be exactly that to six kids.

 

Ten minutes before the car sent by the company picks them up to meet with the rest for their flight.

 

Zhengting’s phone vibrates and he checks it quickly.

 

_ Babe, you ain't going to leave without saying goodbye right? _

 

Zhengting smiles at the message, this might just be exactly what he needs to kill of the anxiety he was feeling.

 

_ Bathroom?  _ He sends

 

_ Thought you would never ask _

 

Zhengting quickly gets out of the room and goes downstairs, to the bathroom they never made it to last night.

 

As soon as zhengting turns the knob, he is pulled in and is pinned against the door.

 

“ morning babe” he greets seductively.

 

Xukun smirks at him.

 

“ morning my baby boy”

 

The pet name makes him blush and xukun chuckles.

 

“I still can't get over how me calling you that always has you blushing” xukun says with a smug voice as he kisses zhengting's neck.

 

“Shut up, and no marks.” zhengting tries to be stern but ends up moaning.

 

“How I love the sounds you make” 

 

“ kun…” zhengting whines as the leader continues to kiss his neck while simultaneously grinding their hips together. They were both semi hard.

 

“Yes baby, what do you want?” Xukun asks huskily as he bites zhengting's bottom lip before pulling away.

 

“Stop torturing me.”

 

“But torturing you is my favourite thing to do”

 

Zhengting rolls his eyes. “You sadist”

 

“You love me.” Xukun teases and Zhengting feels that familiar pang.

 

_ I do, xukun I really do _

 

“You wish” Zhengting retorts.

 

Xukun then kisses him, he licks the top of his lip which causes zhengting to moan and xukun took the opportunity to slip his tongue in. 

 

They continued their heated make out session for a while, until the need for air made them separate.

 

“ I'm gonna miss you” xukun panted softly, so softly zhengting wouldn't have heard him if he wasn't so close.

 

“ it's only for a few days”

 

“ I told you that I always miss you for some reason”

 

Right, zhengting does remember that, he just doesn't like getting his hopes up. Zhengting did that once, and it didn't end well.

 

“ well I will miss you too kun.” zhengting says and kun shoots him a surprised look for a second, like he didn't expect zhengting to say that, but the look was gone before zhengting could comprehend what it really meant.

 

So he lets it go.

 

“Zheng-ge, car is here” Zhengting hears Justin calling out loud.

 

Zhengting panics cause the last thing he wants was for anyone to see him with Xukun, they already thought the two of them were dating and if they see them together then they will use it as a confirmation and Xukun will distance himself from Zhengting again.

 

It's happened before. 

 

_ The grand finale was only two weeks away, two weeks until they find out if all the pain and suffering they went through on the show was worth it. _

 

_ The pressure was huge, last minute practise while simultaneously packing up and saying goodbye. It was a stressful time and everyone was drowning in it. _

 

_ Zhengting and Xukun found themselves making out more than more usual, they keep looking for each other, pulling each other into random storerooms or hiding out in the dorms. _

 

_ Getting caught by one of their fellow trainees was inevitable,  it just happens it was Cheng Cheng who saw them. _

 

_ “My eyes” Cheng Cheng exclaimed when he saw them a half naked xukun on top of Zhengting. _

 

_ Then Cheng Cheng just ran out of the room, leaving an embarrassed zhengting and xukun. _

 

_ Things changed after that, xukun started avoiding zhengting and it hurt. Especially because they were on the same team so Zhengting had to see Xukun interact with everyone but him. He was painfully polite to zhengting and it was so obvious but if the other members noticed the change they didn't say anything. _

 

_ Well except for Cheng Cheng. _

 

_ “Zheng-ge, why is he avoiding you?” Cheng Cheng asked him after Xukun ignores Zhengting for the third time. _

 

_ Zhengting was close to losing it. _

 

_ “Do I look like I have any idea why he is being a dick to me?”  Zhengting snapped. _

 

_ The wounded look on Cheng cheng's face has Zhengting feel guilty. _

 

_ “Look I'm sorry okay, I have no clue why he is avoiding me and maybe that's for the best” _

 

_ “Are you guys breaking up?” _

 

_ “What? We aren't even dating so how can we break up?” _

 

_ “You aren't dating?” _

 

_ “No we aren't, we just hooked up.” _

 

_ “Oh” _

 

_ “And I would appreciate it if you don't tell anyone about this especially Justin” _

 

_ Zhengting made Cheng Cheng promise not to say anything and the younger boy kept his promise. _

 

_ Zhengting decided that if xukun was going to avoid him then he can do it too. So he spends his time with qin fen and xingjie. _

 

_ One evening as he walked back to the dorms alone, zhengting felt someone beside him and he knew exactly who it was. _

 

_ “What, not avoiding me anymore?” Zhengting says sarcasm dripping from his voice. _

 

_ Xukun flinched and zhengting felt oddly satisfied. _

 

_ “ I'm sorry” xukun apologises, holding Zhengting's wrist  to keep him from leaving. _

  
  


“Zheng-ge” Justin calls again this time snapping Zhengting from his thoughts. Xukun is looking at him with a strange look.

 

“I'll go out first” Zhengting says awkwardly.

 

Xukun just nods.

 

Zhengting grabs the door knob but before he could open the door he felt arms wrapping around his waist and Xukun back hugging him.

 

Zhengting’s heart starts to race as he feels xukun placing a kiss in between his shoulder blades.

 

“ Bye babe, see you in a few days.” Xukun whispers before letting him go.

 

“ bye” zhengting says opening the door and making sure no one could see him first before giving xukun another smile and leaving.

 

Zhengting quickly grabs his staff from the living room and goes outside where the car is waiting, what he doesn't except is to run into yanjun on the front door steps.

 

“ woah, watch where you going roomie” yanjun says saving him from falling.

 

“ thanks” zhengting says.

 

Yanjun chuckles as his eyes zero in on zhengting's neck

 

“What?”

 

“ nice hickey” the Taiwanese says with a smirk.

 

Zhengting’s unoccupied hand flies to his neck in panic. “ shit, what am I going to do?”

 

“ relax, just wait here Alright?” yanjun tells him patting his back before he runs into the house leaving a confused zhengting.

 

“ zheng-ge, what are you doing standing there?” Cheng Cheng asks sleepily as he sees him from the car.

 

“ I don't even know” zhengting mumbles under his breath.

 

Zhengting then feel something soft on his neck, he looks down and sees a gucci scarf dangling and looks up to see yanjun smiling at him.

 

“ you really are my hero, thanks yanjun-ge” zhengting says softly hugging his roommate  before heading to the car.

 

Zhengting doesn't notice the look in yanjun's eyes or the fact that xukun has seen the entire thing and was pissed off.

 

\--------------------------------------- 

 

Zhengting was fine, no really he was okay. So what if Xukun hasn't answered his texts this whole week. So what if zhengting keeps looking at his phone, hoping he would at least get a hi from the leader?.

 

He was okay. Two more days then they can go home and he can see xukun in person. And all this will just be a misunderstanding.

 

Suddenly his phone vibrated, zhengting rolls his eyes when he sees who it is. 

 

Zhengting has been texting with one person he least expected. His roomate, yanjun. He doesn't even know how it started. On their first night in Thailand,  zhengting had received a text from unknown number. 

 

_ Is the hickey gone yet? _

 

Zhengting had immediately realised who it was, talking to Yanjun had helped zhengting forget xukun not text him back a bit. Yanjun kept sending him these lame jokes and he appreciated them.

 

_ What do prisoners use to call eachother? _

 

_ Just how bored are you? Yanjun-ge  _

 

_ You don't appreciate my jokes… fine I'll just tell you.. they use a cell phone.  _

 

Zhengting snorts loudly, which causes Cheng Cheng who was next to him to look at him weirdly. The seven of them were on their way to a filming location,  they are about to finally film the last scenes of the commercial 

 

Zhengting shrugs.

  
  


But when he laughs again, this time cheng cheng tries to force an answer out of him.

 

“Just who the hell keeps texting you ge?, is it Kun-ge?” 

 

And just like that, Zhengting is reminded of the fact that Xukun has been ignoring him again.

 

Zhengting takes a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain in his chest.

 

“it's not xukun, Cheng.” Zhengting says before lowering his cap over his eyes and tries to fall asleep for the rest of the way.  He ignores the incoming texts from Yanjun.

  
  


When Zhengting wakes up, they had already arrived at the location. It's such a beautiful place and Zhengting wishes he could stay there forever but he can't. He even has to go back a day earlier than the rest.

 

Nine percent were about to film their first ad for a video game, they can't film just six members, so Zhengting has to wrap his scenes in the commercial today so he can go back home for the other one.

 

Was he dreading going back? Maybe a little.

 

Zhengting Is the first one to be done with his hair and make-up and he goes to call the others in the waiting room.  When he gets there, the door is a bit opened and he hears his name. Thinking they are planning a prank, Zhengting eavesdrops. 

 

“Should we tell him?” Justin whispers.

 

“No, this might hurt him even more.” Cheng Cheng replies.

 

Zhengting frowns, okay they are definitely not talking about a prank. What are they talking about?

 

“What do you mean by more Cheng?”

 

“You haven't noticed the fake smiles Zheng-ge keeps giving us this whole time? It's obviously something happened and that only proves it more.”

 

Zhengting decides to interrupt.

 

“What proves what more Fan Cheng Cheng?” zhengting asks watching as Justin and the red haired boy jump and scream at being startled. It would have been funny if Zhengting wasn't too curious to find out, just  what exactly did these boys know.

 

“It's not polite to eavesdrop Zheng-ge.” Justin counters once he regains his composure and quickly hides his phone.

 

“Uh huh, now tell me what your hiding or better yet show me.” Zhengting demands.

 

Justin and Cheng Cheng don’t move an inch, it's kind of impressive. 

 

“Boys.” 

 

“Just show him, he's gonna find out sooner or later.” Cheng Cheng relents.

 

With that Justin takes out his phone and shows Zhengting. It was a text from Linong with a picture of Xukun and Ziyi in a bed together.

 

_ I'm a third wheel in my own room. Save me.  _ The caption says.

 

Zhengting nearly drops the phone. It hurts, shit it fucking hurts so much. His mind was in a daze and Zhengting can't see or hear anything all he sees is that picture. It's what he's always been afraid of.

 

Xukun being with someone else, of course it was Ziyi. He's had the rumours before, Zhengting knows all about their cp, how much fans like them. Plus Zhengting was nothing compared to Ziyi.

 

Zhengting feels like he was going to throw up, he is in pain and he has no one to blame but himself. Zhengting is the one who agreed to be in the friends with benefit thing with Xukun. He was the one who fell in love with his best friend. 

 

This was all his own damn fault. Now he knows why Xukun has been ignoring him. He doesn't want Zhengting anymore and maybe it was time to accept that. That expiration date he always knew was coming, had finally arrived.

 

“Zheng-ge, Zhengting” he hears a worried Justin call him. Cheng Cheng looks like he wanted to cry and Zhengting snaps back to reality when he sees their faces.

 

No, he has to be strong and make it seem like this means nothing to him. It shouldn't anyways. Zhengting and Xukun were not in a relationship and that was the truth.

 

Xukun was free to do whatever he wants.

 

“I'm fine.” Zhengting says trying to smile.

 

Justin frowns, he looks angry.

 

“No you're not, how can you be fine, when you just found out Kun-ge is cheating on you? I'm going to kill him.” Justin spits out.

 

Zhengting looks at him shocked  “What?, he isn’t cheating on me, we aren't together, I keep telling you guys this.”

 

“Stop lying to us.”

 

“I'm not lying, Xukun and I aren't together. We've never been together, I know Cheng Cheng  tells you everything so he probably told you about that day he saw us back on the show, but that was just a hookup. Nothing more, nothing less” zhengting explains quickly. 

 

“Okay, first of all, Cheng Cheng never told me about that, thank God because A gross and B,

Zheng-ge, I saw you guys too.”

 

“ huh?”

 

“The night before the finale, when everyone had finally fallen asleep, I was about to sleep when I saw you guys. You were holding hands and Kun-ge was holding your face with his other. It was gross but very sweet.” Justin says looking mildly disgusted.

 

Zhengting knows exactly what Justin was talking about. And he really doesn't want to think about that night. It was probably the night that had cemented his feelings for Xukun right before his epiphany at actual finale.

 

“Justin, I hold hands with everyone, kun was just telling me not to worry that we will all make it.” Zhengting explains, and it was more or less the truth. 

 

“So you guys aren't dating?”

 

“No we aren't, and you guys are so sweet for trying to protect me but I'm okay, now go get your makeup done, the others must be almost done.”

 

“Okay if you say so.” Justin says but he doesn't sound convinced at all.

 

Cheng Cheng was silent this whole time. Justin goes out first after hugging Zhengting, which actually makes him feel better a bit.

 

Cheng Cheng follows Justin and Zhengting wants them to go so he can finally lick his wounds in peace.

 

Cheng Cheng however turns around at the door, “You're about to break down aren't you?”

 

“Cheng….”

 

“It's okay to be hurt Zheng-ge, maybe you guys aren't dating but I know you have feelings for him, I actually thought Kun-ge had feelings for you too, that you were both just being blind but I guess I was wrong.” Cheng Cheng sighs disappointingly.

 

“What are you…?” Zhengting starts but Cheng Cheng cuts him off.

 

“It's okay ge, I can keep a secret.” And with that, Cheng Cheng left leaving a confused but touched Zhengting behind.

  
  
  


When Cheng Cheng closes the door behind him, Zhengting is left with his confusing, painful thoughts. And no he was not going to break down, forget licking his wounds. He was fine.

 

Zhengting grabs his phone intent on losing himself into the internet until they were ready to film the last scenes.  But he sees his three new texts and he sees that they were from Yanjun. Right Zhengting had forgotten to text him back earlier.

 

Crap, he hopes his roommate didn't think he was ignoring him, Yanjun was starting to feel more like a friend than just a group member and he hopes he hasn't messed that up.

 

_ Yanjun-ge, sorry I fell asleep on my way to the filming location and I forgot to text back. _

 

Zhengting quickly hits send and waits. His phone vibrates a few seconds later. Zhengting can't help the smile on his face or the relief he feels.

 

_ Yeah I kinda figured your lazy ass fell asleep. I saw you fall asleep standing once _

 

_ What? When? _

 

_ On the show, during position evaluation, I saw you standing at a corner with a mask on and your eyes were closed. You scared the crap out of me _

 

Zhengting laughs out loud, he can only imagine what Yanjun had seen. Those were stressful days and sleep was a luxury and you took it any time you could find it. 

 

_ I would apologise but I think you know better than anyone what those days were like _

 

_ Oh yeah I get it, anyways want to hear joke. _

 

_ Try not to make this one a lame one my dear hero  _

 

_ You're on baby _

 

Zhengting stared at the text, not sure what he feels about that pet name, Zhengting likes to call people that, but it feels different when someone calls him. 

 

And it most definitely feels strange coming from Yanjun, but Zhengting forgets all about that when he reads the dirty joke Yanjun sends him. He finds himself cackling and that's how the others find him.

 

While the other four just give him a funny look, Justin and Cheng Cheng look at him like he had lost his mind and he can't exactly blame them.

 

“What's so funny?” Justin asks spectically 

 

“Nothing, I just read a funny joke.” Zhengting replies still laughing a bit.

 

“What joke? I want to read it too.” Zeren says loudly.

 

“Okay no minors, I'll show the big kids.” Zhengting says passing his phone to Zeren, before he belatedly realised Zeren will see who sent the text.

 

“Why is…” Zhengting slaps his hand on Zeren’s mouth before he could say anything more.

 

“Okay, now I really want to see that joke.” Justin says whining and trying to get the phone from Zeren’s hand.

 

“Not for minors, kid.” Zhengting says after shooting Zeren a look telling him to shut up about what he saw. Zeren just nods.

 

Before Justin could climb over Zhengting to get the phone, the manager comes to get them and Zhengting has never been more grateful.

  
  
  


Zhengting tosses and turns in his bed that night, he couldn't sleep even if he wanted to, and he really did want to sleep, it was such a long day and he was both mentally and physically exhausted. 

 

But everytime he closes his eyes, he sees that image in his head. Xukun and ziyi in a bed together,  ziyi and xukun in a bed together. It hurts.

 

Has xukun been hooking up with ziyi too? It Won't be that far fetched, zhengting knows how close they are, he knows that ziyi knew xukun more than him because they were friends first.

 

Zhengting came in way later, plus all those rumours about xukun and ziyi in the show together. His thoughts are interrupted by an incoming call. Zhengting picks it up and his heart clenches when he sees who was calling. 

 

Zhengting did not want to talk to him, he wasn't even sure he could hear his voice with out him breaking down. Why? Why was he calling him now after ignoring him all week?

 

Zhengting takes a huge breath and goes out of the room and goes to the terrace which overlooks the view of the ocean. The vast dark empty ocean which is sort of an Accurate representation of how he feels at the moment.

 

Zhengting answers without saying anything.

 

“ Hello? Zheng” Xukun says, his voice pierces through Zhengting's heart. 

 

Zhengting misses him even now, he misses him so much.

 

“ Zhengting please, it's not what it looks like” Xukun pleads.

 

Zhengting still doesn't say anything, he almost wants to laugh at the played out line Xukun just spewed.

 

“ Zhengting, fine don't talk just please let me explain.” Xukun continues with a sigh.

 

That gets to Zhengting, Xukun did not owe him an explanation. 

 

“ You don't owe me an explanation Xukun” Zhengting says tiredly.

 

“ I'm glad to hear your voice,  I do owe you one” Xukun insists.

 

“ You really don't, like you always say we aren't together right? What we have is not exclusive, you're not my boyfriend, we are just…” Zhengting says getting choked up now.

 

“ Zhengting please let me…”

 

“ I can't do this, I just can't, good night Xukun, I'll talk to you when I get back tomorrow” Zhengting says before hanging up and dropping down on the floor with tears streaming down his cheeks.

 

Zhengting feels arms wrapping around him, he looks up and sees Cheng Cheng looking at him with a sad look. He buries himself into his brother's chest while Cheng Cheng rubs his hand soothingly down his back.

 

After a while zhengting pulls away, “ I'm sorry you have to see me like this” Zhengting apologises.

 

“ Shut up ge, I don't mind and you know it.” Cheng Cheng reprimands him. That earns a chuckle from Zhengting,  he finds serious Cheng Cheng adorable.

 

“ Was it kun-ge who called?” Cheng Cheng asks the obvious.

  
  


Zhengting nods before answering “ I don't even know why he did”

 

“ That might have something to do with Justin”

 

“ Can't say I'm surprised, what did he do?” Zhengting asks with a sigh.

 

“ He texted Kun-ge to mock him about the pic” Cheng Cheng says with a small smile like he was proud of Justin.

 

Zhengting shoots him a disapproving look and Cheng Cheng sobers up.

 

“ And I think kun-ge figured if Justin has seen the pic then you have too, which makes me wonder why he would call, if he didn't care about you or your...thing with him”

 

Zhengting doesn't say anything despite the fact that cheng's words keeps ringing in his mind. Maybe he was too quick to judge xukun.

 

If you were too quick to judge him then he was too quick to give up because if he cared that much then he would have called you again.

 

His mind was at war again, his thoughts were always at war where Xukun was concerned.

 

Zhengting sighs and gets up from where he was sitting, “ let's go to bed, I have an early flight tomorrow”

 

“ Gege, will you be alright going back alone?” Cheng Cheng asks him worriedly.

 

“ You forget we live with four other people other than xukun and ziyi” zhengting says with a smile as he wrapped an arm around Cheng cheng's shoulder, ruffling his red hair.

 

“ And I can take care of myself” zhengting says with a high and mighty voice that has Cheng Cheng chuckling.

 

“ Okay, then. Good night zheng-ge”

 

“ Good night baby”

 

Zhengting then slips into his bed and smiles when Cheng Cheng faces him and smiles a bit before closing his eyes.

 

Zhengting was really glad Cheng Cheng was his roommate this time around.

  
  
  


Zhengting wakes up and can feel how swollen his face was from crying. He sighs and slowly gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom,  yup the sight wasn't pretty. Zhengting goes back to the room and gets his make up bag and quickly began working on his face.

 

_ “ why do you have so much make-up? Xukun inquires as zhengting hurriedly put some concealer on neck to hide a particularly huge hickey. _

 

_ “ because I like it, wearing make-up makes me feel like I'm worth something, I guess” zhengting replies, talking to xukun was the easiest thing on earth. _

 

_ “ you're worth everything zheng, dont let anyone tell you otherwise” xukun told him seriously before he turned zhengting around and kissed him slowly. _

 

Right, way to make me feel like I'm worth everything, kunkun.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so an update after a month...im so sorry for the late update.
> 
> So anyone who has been waiting for this update. Thank you so much for bearing with me.

Zhengting makes sure he has everything with him before he goes to say goodbye to the ones he won't be seeing for a while.

 

After saying his goodbyes, Zhengting gets into the van and is on his way home. He tries everything to make himself forget about Xukun and the phone call but it isn't working. Zhengting ends up falling asleep to escape his own thoughts.

 

Four hours later and he was on his way to the dorms, he prays no one is home. Zhenting wasn't ready for a confrontation or even seeing Ziyi and Xukun. Zhengting takes a huge breath as the car approaches the gates and their manager who had come to pick him up, punches in the codes.

 

Zhengting gets out off the car and drags his bags, before saying bye to their manager.

 

“Hey roomie, you’re home,” a cheerful voice says behind him.

 

“Hey look, it's Mr lame ass jokes,” Zhengting says teasingly.

 

Yanjun looks offended which only makes Zhengting laugh harder. It feels good to laugh. Zhengting wonders why Yanjun has this effect on him.

 

“You know, I was going to help you with your bags but now, do it yourself,” Yanjun says before turning to leave, making Zhengting grab his wrist.

 

“All right I'm sorry, your jokes are very funny,” Zhengting says to him.

 

Yanjun huffs before taking one of Zhengting's bag and they go inside the house where Zhengting gets tackled by Linong who comes flying down the stairs.

 

“Zheng-ge,  I missed you,” the too tall for his age boy says.

 

“I missed you too sweetie,” Zhengting says with a smile. 

 

“Hey what about me?” Yanjun asks

 

“ huh?”

 

“Did you miss me?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“The feeling is mutual,  it was nice having the room without your loud ass.” 

 

Zhengting gasps in indignation and smacks Yanjun anywhere he could get his hands on. 

 

“Ouch, damn your bony fingers hurt, Linong help me out,” Yanjun whines as he tries to escape the violent dancer.

 

“He's called the violent fairy for a reason Yanjun-ge, you’re on your own,” Linong answers before he disappears into the living room.

 

“Traitor.”

 

“Smart kid”

 

Both Yanjun and Zhengting say in unison.

 

“You are not a violent fairy, you are just violent period,” Yanjun says digging his grave even deeper as Zhengting hits him even harder.

 

“What's all the noise for?” a voice says at the top of the stairs and Zhengting freezes, his hand paused mid air. 

 

“ Zhengting,” Xukun says and suddenly there is this awkward tension around them.

 

“Hey Xukun,” Zhengting says and he sees Xukun flinch at the use of his full name. Zhengting has always called him Kun, no matter what. 

 

“Uh let's take your bags to our room,” Yanjun says breaking the awkward silence again. Zhengting doesn't say anything just follows the Taiwanese, fully aware Xukun wasn't moving from his spot at the top of the stairs.

 

As soon as Yanjun passes, Xukun blocks Zhengting's way making Yanjun pause in his steps. 

 

“We need to talk,” Xukun tells him.

 

“I've nothing to say to you,” Zhengting replies, trying hard not to break down. He doesn't know how to escape Xukun, but he has too, for his own sanity.

 

“Zheng, come on,” Yanjun calls and Zhengting quickly sees it as an opening and moves past Xukun and follows Yanjun who opens their door and closes it the minute Zhengting gets in.

 

Zhengting let's out a breath, then another one and it’s suddenly like he couldn't breathe.

 

“Shit, Zhengting calm down before you give yourself a panic attack,” Yanjun tells him pulling him up from where Zhengting had slid down leaning against the door.

 

Yanjun makes him sit on the bed. Zhengting takes huge breaths and calms himself down slowly, Yanjun never let's go of his hand. In fact he tightens his hold when Zhengting wants to pull away.

 

Zhengting gives in and continues to calm down. 

 

“Are you okay now?” Yanjun asks after a long while.

 

“I'm fine,” Zhengting answers, letting go of Yanjun's hand.

 

“You're not. What happened between you two?” Yanjun asks and Zhengting tenses.

 

“Shit forget I asked, it's none of my business,” Yanjun backtrack immediately.

 

“No it's okay, I just… I'm not ready to talk about it,” Zhengting replies tiredly.

 

“Okay, when you are, you know you can talk to me right? As your roommate and as..”

 

“My hero?” Zhengting interrupts.

 

“I was going to say friends, but hero works too,” Yanjun tells him with a shameless smirk that has Zhengting laughing while simultaneously hitting Yanjun.

 

“Seriously though, I know what it's like to like someone who only sees you as a friend,” Yanjun says to him with a somber expression.

 

“What?” Zhengting asks surprised, Yanjun knew what that is like? Isn't he dating Zhangjing?

 

“I'm not dating Zhangjing…” Yanjun says to him.

 

Zhengting shoots him a surprised look. “ you said that out loud” Yanjun tells Zhengting who looks sheepish.

 

“I know you guys, heck the world, thinks I'm dating Zhangjing but I'm not. Well I liked him but he didn't like me,” Yanjun says with a small smile.

 

“Woah that..”

 

“Sucks? Yeah I'm well aware.”

 

“Did you ever tell him how you feel?” Zhengting asks, then backtracks “Sorry none of my business. “

 

“It's fine, and I didn't, I was going to but I overheard him telling Chaoze he only likes me as a friend.”

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Yup, it stung, but I got over it”

 

“How?” Zhengting asks curiously.

 

Yanjun looks at him for a moment before ruffling his hair, the action makes Zhengting's heart start. 

 

“I cried it out in the bathroom for like a week,” Yanjun tells him with a shrug.

 

“What?” Zhengting asks in disbelief.

 

“Well I don't take long showers because I like it, i do it because it's therapeutic. Like I wash all the stress way. And when I leave the bathroom I leave it all in there,” Yanjun explains.

 

“Does it work?”

 

“Most of the times, you should try it,” Yanjun says with a sigh.

 

Zhengting pats him sympathetically.  They stay quiet for a while, both of them caught up in their own heads. Zhengting was wondering if he should open up to the Taiwanese, given what Yanjun has revealed, it only seems fair.

 

But Zhengting has never been one to open up, he was more of the suffer in silence type. Before Zhengting could open his mouth however, his stomach rumbles loudly, breaking the silence.

 

Zhengting looks away in embarrassment when Yanjun shoots him a look, it's also when he realises he hadn't eaten since lunch the previous day. Zhengting had skipped dinner last night and didn't have time for breakfast.

 

His embarrassing stomach rumbles again.

 

“I think your stomach is trying to tell you something,” Yanjun teases and Zhengting grabs a pillow and hits Yanjun with it.

 

“Come on, I'm hungry too,” Yanjun tells him holding out his hand.

 

Zhengting takes it reluctantly, and as they get to their door, his steps falter. He doesn’t want to see Xukun. He knows he's going to face him sooner rather than later, but Zhengting just wants a bit more time.

 

“Hey, come on, look if you don't want to go with me, then you can just stay here. I'll bring you a plate of whatever I make,” Yanjun tells him quietly.

 

Zhengting shakes his head, “No I'll be okay, let's go”

 

Zhengting and Yanjun walk down the stairs together, “I forgot to ask, where are Jing-ge and Linkai?”

 

“Linkai is at Grammarie and Zhangjing went out with Ziyi,” Yanjun informs him.

 

So Xukun was alone, not surprising. Xukun despised going out. Zhengting used to beg him with a cute voice for them to go around the campus together. The snowy day was by far the happiest day the two of them had spent together outside. Watching snow and the kids play with each other.

 

He also still remembers the ruthless snowball fight they eventually engaged in and Zhengting can still picture the priceless look on Xukun's face when Zhengting had hit him square in the face.

 

That fight ended up with them making out in the bathroom and-

 

“Zhengting,” Yanjun says pulling him out of his musings. 

 

Zhengting hums in response, as they near the kitchen Zhengting hears Xukun's voice in the living room. He seems to be playing video games with Linong.

 

“I'll make you whatever you want, let me just go see what's in the kitchen,” Yanjun tells him and again Zhengting just hums in response and goes and sits at the table. He watches as Yanjun rummages through the cupboards.

 

Zhengting sees Yanjun putting a pot of water on, and he has several packets noodles in front of him.  He quietly watches as the other doesn't bother even looking at the instructions. Zhengting should have known.

 

“Ge,  what are you doing?” Zhengting asks slowly as he approaches Yanjun who looks at him funny.

 

“Making noodles,” Yanjun replies in an obvious voice.

 

“That's not how you make it.”

 

“Yeah it is.”

 

“That’s not what the directions say,” Zhengting insists, crowding into Yanjun's space over the stove. “You have to follow the directions.”

  
“I know what the directions say,” Yanjun says. “The directions are wrong.”

  
“The directions are right,” Zhengting insists. “That’s why they’re the directions. If you just let me--“ he reaches for the packet in Yanjun’s hand.

  
Yanjun jerks it away. “Zheng! Let me make it.”

  
“You’re gonna mess it up--“ Zhengting tries for the packet again.

  
“I have my own recipe,” Yanjun says, pulling further back, “I always do it like this.“

  
“Ge, you’re gonna mess it up!” 

  
“Zhengting --will you just--“ Zhengting makes another grab at the packet, and Yanjun makes a frustrated noise. “Baby! I’m not gonna mess it up. I’ve made it a million times like this and--“

 

Zhengting cannot hear a single word after that, he just stares at Yanjun.

  
Eventually Yanjun stops and gives Zhengting a funny look. “What?”, his mouth says.

  
Zhengting snaps out of his haze. “What?”

  
“I just asked you what,” Yanjun says.

  
“Oh.” 

  
Zhengting stares at Yanjun, looking for a reaction, some sign. But the other just looks confused.

  
“Nothing,” Zhengting says. “Make it your way.” He leaves the stove and sits down at the table.

 

His heart was hammering in his chest. Yanjun just called him baby liken it was the most natural thing. The pet name was affecting him.

 

Zhengting tries to calm himself down, Yanjun probably didn't even realise what he said and if he points it out, it's gonna get weird between them and they had just gotten comfortable with each other.

 

“Jun-ge, please make plenty, I'm starving,” Linong says as he comes into the kitchen with Xukun. The leader seems to have frozen at the sight of Zhengting.

 

Zhengting really doesn’t want things to be awkward with his best friend so he shoots him a small smile which Xukun returns.

 

“Kun, what about you? Want some?” Yanjun asks as he brings Zhengting his bowl and Linong’s.

 

“Yeah sure, I'll have some,” Xukun replies. 

 

Xukun was about to sit on Zhengting's left side since Linong was on his right but Yanjun beats him to it. 

 

Zhengting does not miss the absolute murderous look Xukun shoots Yanjun who misses it, or does he? Because his freaking roommate winks at him.

 

Zhengting shakes his head at his antics, everyone is silent for a while as they all concentrate on eating. Just as Zhengting is about to be done, Yanjun piles his food again.

 

“Uh no thanks,” Zhengting says pushing away the plate. Yanjun scoffs and pushes it right back to Zhengting.

 

“Eat, you haven't eaten for a while. Don't make me force feed you,” Yanjun threatens and Zhengting gulps, why was his roommate so damn scary?.

 

After eating their food, Zhengting starts to pile up the dirty dishes. And just then Ziyi and Zhangjing come through the doors. Zhengting wonders where they had gone and why Xukun didn't go with them.

 

“Zheng Zheng, you're back,” Zhangjing says with a smile coming to hug him.

 

“Hey Zheng,” Ziyi greets too.

 

“Hey guys.” 

 

The atmosphere feels a bit awkward considering Ziyi seems to be avoiding Zhengting's eyes and vice versa. Yanjun comes to stand next to him and Zhengting is more than grateful.

 

“Have you guys eaten?” Linong asks the new arrivals. He keeps looking between the older members and Zhengting thinks the kid is a bit uncomfortable. This is exactly what Zhengting didn't want, to make everything awkward and just plain uncomfortable. 

 

“Yeah, we actually had something to eat before we came home,” Zhangjing replies.

 

“Like Zhangjing can go hours without food,” Yanjun teases and Zhangjing glares at him.

 

“Like you can't go hours without your showers,” Zhangjing taunts back.

 

Yanjun laughs and Zhengting sort of envies their relationship. Despite the history between them, the two were still best friends, while he can't even look at Xukun and Ziyi without wanting to cry.

 

Zhengting can't stay here, he just can’t so he puts the dirty dishes in the sink before fleeing from the room. He was so pathetic.

 

“What's wrong with him?” He hears Zhangjing ask with concern.

 

“He's just tired, he had a long week. Zheng wait up,” Yanjun calls out and runs after Zhengting.

 

\-------------------------- 

Xukun sighs as he watches his members, well a certain member, as he has his individual pictures taken after their group picture. Even though Justin and Cheng Cheng were missing, it had felt kind of surreal for them to be having the shoot for their first ever ad as Nine Percent.

 

Xukun was supposed to be resting with the other members, but when Zhengting had been called for his turn, Xukun had seen the dancer look nervous and he had wanted to be there for him, despite the fact that Zhengting wasn't even talking to him. But Yanjun beats him to it.

 

Yanjun manages to calm Zhengting down by telling him one lame ass joke that no one seems to find funny, except for his Zhengting apparently. 

 

“Did it hurt?” Yanjun asks the terrified Zhengting. Xukun clenches his fists as he watches Yanjun holding him in a protective way.

 

Zhengting doesn't answer prompting Yanjun to whisper something in his ear and just like that he was laughing and looking relaxed again. Zhengting finally takes his place and the shoot begins.

 

Zhengting is fucking pretty, Xukun thinks, in that graceful kind of way. The kind of pretty that makes you want to take him to dinner and ask permission just to kiss his hand at the end of the night. 

 

But he also knows the loud and sometimes dumb, kind of pretty, Zhengting. The one that makes you smile and go along with whatever crazy thing he wants to do next.

 

Then there is the dancing kind of pretty, the one that makes you do a double take when you watch him do a modern dance; the one that almost hurts to look at. 

 

Today was no different. Xukun finds himself unable to take his eyes of him, he just stands there watching as Zhengting does different poses. All which seemed to be making people drool.

 

Zhengting attracts attention like a flame does to a moth. His own fucking best friend, Ziyi, was watching Zhengting as he pouts for the camera with his mouth open. The sight irritates Xukun and he walks over to where Ziyi is and elbows him, his friend snaps out of it and looks away.

 

Zhengting laughs loudly and the sound pierces into Xukun's heart. Xukun watches as he hits Yanjun before blowing him a kiss. The blatant flirting seems to be working in their favour cause the director asks him to do it again.

 

Xukun clenches his fists and digs his nails into his palm to calm himself down because it hurt.

 

It hurts looking at him and not being able to talk to him. It hurts seeing him smile at others but never at him. Especially when he smiles at Lin Yanjun like he was right then.

 

And he was angry at himself for pushing Zhengting away. For being stupid and suggesting they become friends with benefits instead of telling him how he really felt that night.

 

That Xukun has been in love with him since the day they went up against each other for the center position. But Xukun can't be in love with anyone, not when he has so much baggage with him.

 

Xukun grew up as an only child who had an absentee father and a mother who was so heartbroken with the fact that her husband had left her to care about her child.

 

Xukun spent most of his childhood taking care of his emotionally unstable mother while at the same time working towards his dreams. His dreams meant everything to him. So Xukun decided at a very young age that love, the relationship kind of love, didn't exist. That it was an illusion.

 

The kind of love that did exist was the one he had with his fans, with his friends, with the stage, with music. That's it. That kind of love was easy, and he gave plenty of it back.

 

Except Zhengting had shown up in his life one day with all these shy smiles and soft touches and Xukun had found himself craving for the other kind of love. The one that he swore he never wanted to experience after watching his mother cry about his dad for the nth time.

 

His mother who would lock herself in the bathroom and cry herself to sleep on the bathroom floor. His mother who got drunk so often he had to miss important exams because she had suffered from alcohol poisoning.

 

Then finally his other relatives had shown up and he had been forced to give up on his dreams to join an upcoming idol group because his mother thought it was best for him to get away from it all and go to America.

 

So no Xukun couldn't have Zhengting. He was so pure and sweet, and sometimes he was bossy and violent and he was so damn talented; he can't taint him. Because Xukun was broken.

 

Xukun closes his eyes as he watches Zhengting jump on Yanjun after he was done with his shoot. Zhengting was demanding a piggy back ride, when Xukun opens his eyes he finds Zhengting looking right at him.

 

He stops smiling the minute their eyes meet and Xukun cant take it so he leaves. He steps back from the crowd because he needs to breathe, to clear his mind. Xukun opens the first door he finds and slips into it. Xukun finds himself in a stairwell. It's dimly lit, the only source of light filtering through was the one from the floor above.

 

Xukun leans against the wall and takes a breath, a huge one and another and another. His mind is filled with images of Zhengting and their time together, their first kiss, the hopeful look Zhengting had given him right after, the disappointed one after he had suggested friends with benefits. 

 

The look on Zhengting's face when Xukun had touched him for the first time. The moans he made, the look of pure ecstasy when he came, his mouth opened in a silent scream.

 

Xukun doesn't know how long he has been standing there when the door opens and Zhengting steps through. Zhengting closes the door behind him and leans against it. It's the first time they are alone since the day they said goodbye in the bathroom.

 

The day before everything went hell, because he couldn't control his jealousy when he heard Zhengting call Yanjun his hero.

 

Xukun is glad it's kind of dark in there and he doesn't have to see every maddening details of Zhengting's face. Xukun just looks at him, adjusts himself and tries to put his thoughts in order.

 

“Are you okay?” Zhengting asks in concern.

 

Xukun nods 

 

“You've been gone for a while.”

 

“It was getting too crowded in there,” Xukun replies.

 

Xukun suddenly tenses when Zhengting moves closer to him. Zhengting steps even more closer until they were face to face, before he lifts his hand and puts it on Xukun's forehead. Like he was feeling for a fever.

 

Xukun can swear that the touch burns.

 

“You don't seem to have a fever or anything, do you feel sick?” Zhengting inquires like he does with the kids.

 

One if the many reasons that made Xukun fall in love with him, the way he takes care of everyone around him.

 

“I'm fine,” Xukun manages his voice barely a whisper.

 

Zhengting’s hand slides down to cup his cheek, before stepping back, but Xukun doesn't let him. He grabs his wrist and pulls Zhengting forward, making them face to face again. So damn close.

 

“Xukun,” Zhengting says trying to move away.

 

“Don't call me that, I hate when you call me that,” Xukun says holding him in place.

 

Zhengting swallows but he stops struggling, and Xukun takes what he can get. He won't let him go, Xukun can't afford to. His heart belongs to the guy standing in front of him.

 

Xukun will make him stay no matter what.

 

“Zheng, where are you? Seriously where did you disappear to?” they hear Yanjun call out from a distance.

 

Zhengting moves again but Xukun won't let him. Xukun presses his lips against Zhengting and the dancer struggles even more. It was selfish and a bit cruel what he was doing but losing Zhengting was not an option.

 

Zhengting eventually stops struggling and kisses him back with just as much passion. It tastes like heaven, kissing Zhengting was different from anything he has ever experience. Xukun pulls back and stares into Zhengting's eyes. Zhengting who was on the verge of crying.

 

Xukun opens his mouth to say something but before he could, the door opens and Yanjun is standing there, looking shocked at seeing them together. Zhengting pushes Xukun away and rans into Yanjun's arms.

 

“Woah baby ,what happened?” Yanjun asks and the words feel like a slap to Xukun. 

 

“Nothing, let's just go,” Zhengting says in a shaky voice.

 

“Clearly something did, did he do anything to you?” Yanjun asks angrily.

 

“Jun, please,” Zhengting pleads and Yanjun gives in taking him away but not before he glares at Zukun who remains rooted to the spot.

 

What a great leader you are Cai Xukun.

  
  


\----------------------------------------

 

Zhengting hates him, he really fucking does. Why does he keep doing this to him? He should have punched him in the mouth.

 

“Tell me what he did,” Yanjun demands as they head back to their dressing room.

 

Zhengting opens his mouth “And don't tell me nothing,” Yanjun interrupts.

 

“Not right now Ge,” Zhengting says as he wipes his face and steps into the room where their other members are waiting.

 

Zhangjing was eating a donut much to the disapproval of their manager, Ziyi was looking at his phone and Linong and Linkai were playing some sort of game. 

 

“Where have you guys been? And where is Xukun?” their manager questions disapprovingly.

 

Zhengting opens his mouth to answer but Xukun who had arrived seconds after them beats him to it.

 

“I'm right here, sorry for keeping everyone, it won't happen again,” Xukun apologises with a bow. Their manager just sighs and reminds everyone to pack up since they were done for the day.

 

Zhengting is about to pick his bag when Yanjun gets it for him. He feels grateful for Yanjun but he really wants to be alone. That kiss just broke down every bit of resolve he had made to himself that morning.

 

It didn't even last a few hours, just how pathetic are you Zhu Zhengting. 

 

Zhengting chooses the last seat in the car and just doesn't pay attention to anything else. Their schedules are very full right of the bat, they have so many ads to film and they have to go to L.A.

 

They will be recording their album over there, he can't even begin to process all that information, then aside from that he has his own Yuehua schedules. So maybe he should focus on all that, rather than what happened.

 

Zhengting is ready to scream by the time they get to the house, Yanjun has been staring at him with this worried look on his face, and everytime He so much as raises his eyes, Xukun is also looking back at him with those eyes that he fell in love with.

 

This all feels a little too much. He feels very frustrated and he is scared that he will snap in front of everyone. Zhengting doesn't want to do that.

 

Zhengting goes to his room and flops on the bed before screaming into his pillow with all his might, he feels a little better afterwards but he also notices the worried look on Yanjun's face...again.

 

“I'm fine,” Zhengting says waving him off.

 

“No, you're not,” Yanjun snaps at him which takes Zhengting aback.

 

“Yanjun?”

 

“Stop trying to convince me you are okay Zhengting, it's starting to piss me off”

 

“Then what exactly do you want me to tell you? That I'm pathetic and stupid, and that I fell right back into his arms the minute he kissed me?” Zhengting asks in frustration.

 

“He kissed you?” Yanjun asks in a strange tone.

 

“That's all you heard in all that?” Zhengting asks sarcastically, he did not want to try and understand Yanjun's tone. He is scared of what he might find out.

 

“Well…”

 

Zhengting  chuckles at the response which in turn causes Yanjun to laugh too.

 

Yanjun sits on the bed next to Zhengting and wraps his arm around his shoulder. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push okay. It's just… if there is one thing I learned from my own stupid story, it’s that you gotta talk to someone. I didn't and it ate me up inside and I.. let's just say I did something I wasn't exactly proud of.” 

 

“It's sort of a long story,” Zhengting says hesitantly.

 

“We got time, baby.” 

 

There it was again, that pet name. Zhengting stares at Yanjun.

 

“What?” Yanjun asks looking at him strangely.

 

“Nothing,” Zhengting answers before he launches into his pitiful story.

 

\-----------------------------------

 

Xukun is a mess, why the hell did he kiss Zhengting? This won't do anyone any good. He was freaking out. If Zhengting doesn't speak to him ever again, he would have no one to blame but himself. Xukun paced back and forth.

 

It's just like always, his emotions got the best out of him. Xukun had felt so jealous when Zhengting was so ready to just leave him there the minute Yanjun called out for him.

 

When did the two of them become so close anyways? And wasn't Yanjun dating Zhangjing? What was he doing hanging around his Zhengting?

 

“ Kun? Kun, Kunkun,” a voice says loudly startling him out of his thoughts.

 

“Huh?” Xukun responds.

 

“Are you alright?” Ziyi asks with concern.

 

“Yes...no…. I fucked up,” Xukun says with a sigh, finally sitting down.

 

“What did you do now?” Ziyi groans.

 

“I kissed Zhengting,” Xukun admits.

 

Ziyi who isn't even the least bit surprised replies, “Of course you did, you are such a dumbass, what happened to giving him some space?”

 

“I'm not a dumbass.”

 

“Yes you are Kunkun, now stop avoiding the question. What happened to staying away?” Ziyi responds without missing a beat.

 

Xukun rolls his eyes, his best friend isn't one to pussyfoot around. He always calls Xukun out on his bullshit. 

 

“I couldn't. He came after me when I left the studio, He found me and he was just so concerned and I was happy just to be next to him but then..” Xukun cuts off.

 

“But then what?”

 

“Yanjun called for him and it was like the trance has been broken and he was ready to leave me to go to him so I panicked and kissed him.”

 

“You panicked? Or your jealousy got the best out of you again?”

 

“Shut up, it was both. He's mine,” Xukun says through gritted teeth.

 

“News flash my dear friend, you can't own a person,” Ziyi tells him sarcastically.

 

Xukun glares at him. “Sometimes I wonder why everyone thinks you are so nice. If I'm a dumbass then you are an asshole.”

 

“The only reason you are calling me that is because I'm always calling you out, and I'd rather be an asshole than watch you keep hurting him,” Ziyi tells him calmly.

 

Xukun drops his head into his hands and Ziyi wraps his arm around his shoulder, “You need to talk to him bro, an honest talk. But before you do that, think carefully about what you really want okay?” 

 

Xukun just nods, his best friend was right. It was time to talk to Zhengting.

 

“Thanks dude”

 

“Anytime bro”

 

Then the two of them both laughed and Ziyi pulls Xukun into a hug before they both get ready for bed. 

 

\------------------------------

 

Zhengting wakes up the next morning and immediately realises he wasn't alone in bed. Shit, he fell asleep in Yanjun's arms. The memories of the previous night come rushing back.

 

_ Yanjun was silent after Zhengting was done, he had an unreadable look on his face. _

 

_ “Go ahead, call me pathetic,” Zhengting said to him. He feels so embarrassed, why did he tell Yanjun everything? _

 

_ Suddenly he was in Yanjun's arms. “Don't you ever call yourself pathetic Zhengting, you absolutely aren't. You did nothing wrong except fall for someone.” _

 

_ “Thanks, I'm sort of glad I told you, I guess we are finally friends. You know my secret, I know yours.” _

 

_ “I'm glad you told me too.” _

 

_ After that Yanjun presses a kiss on Zhengting's forehead before he goes to take his long shower. Zhengting lies on his bed and plays around on his phone for a while. _

 

_ Being roommates with Yanjun wasn't bad after all. _

 

_ Zhengting feels sort of light after talking to Yanjun, the word vomit seems to have done him good this time around. _

 

_ Zhengting must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knows is Yanjun is covering him up with the blankets. Yanjun looked sad and Zhengting could see it even in the dark. _

 

_ “Something wrong?” Zhengting asks sitting up. _

 

_ “Yeah just talked to my mom, she wants me to go home for a few days,” yYnjun replies. _

 

_ Zhengting looks at him confused. _

_ Yanjun let's out a chuckle without any humour in it. “Home sucks for me, I really don't want to see my family… well my dad.” _

 

_ Zhengting then remembers the whispers when they were being shown their families in the finale segments, that Yanjun was the only one whose parents had refused to be filmed and suddenly now it makes sense. _

 

_ “If you don't want to go, you don't have to.” _

 

_ “I sort of do, my mom and the rest of my family deserve to see me” _

 

_ Zhengting was quiet after that, he tried to think of something to cheer the Taiwanese up, after all he had done it for him more than once. _

 

_ Zhengting decided to do what he always does to the kids when they get upset, he cuddles them to death. So he wraps his arms around Yanjun's waist and leans in for a hug. _

 

_ “Hey misery, want some company?” he teases lightly. _

 

_ Yanjun chuckles, “We make quite the pair.” _

 

_ After that they both laid down on Zhengting's bed and guess they fell asleep. _

 

Zhengting snaps out of his thoughts as Yanjun shifts a bit in his sleep but doesn't wake up. He moves his head and stares at the man next to him. How can someone be so handsome?

 

When Zhengting first saw Yanjun on the show, he honestly got shocked by his visuals and he thought someone that handsome is probably just as arrogant or something. But Yanjun was anything but, they never really interacted but whenever Zhengting saw him, he was either laughing with someone or by himself.

 

Zhengting sort of regrets not befriending him since then, but hey better late than never. The Yanjun he has gotten to know this past week even though most of it was through texting was enough to tell him that they were going to be friends for a long time even after all this is over.

 

The need to go to the bathroom has Zhengting squirming to get out of the bed, he slowly moves Yanjun's arm and climbs out of bed. He quickly goes to the bathroom.

 

After he was done, Zhengting decides to make breakfast for everyone. It's been a while since he cooked for everyone. Zhengting grabs the ingredients he needs to make some pancakes and some bacon and gets to work.

 

He had just finished his second pancake when he hears someone coming down the stairs. He smiles thinking it was Yanjun who woke up or Linong, and he was right it was Linong who offers his beautiful smile as a greeting.

 

However he didn't expect Xukun to be with him. “Want some help?” the leader asks and Zhengting wants to say no but not with Linong around. The kid does not deserve to be put in an awkward situation so Zhengting just nods.

 

The two of them then got to work and Zhengting is surprised that Xukun doesn't really touch him unnecessarily or talk to him for that matter, they just work together while Linong tells them some sort of story.

 

Zhengting puts the pancakes in a plate and some bacon while Xukun pours a glass of juice and the two of them give it to Linong at the same time. Linong stares at them wide eyed before laughing.

 

“Wow you guys are like parents,” Linong teases and Xukun laughs while Zhengting blushes before ruffling Linong's hair. Zhengting then shares a look with Xukun and he knows the leader is also remembering the time at the dorm when Zhenghao had been sick and the two of them had taken care of him, Zhenghao had said the exact same thing.

 

The spell however is broken when Zhengting's phone which was on the counter vibrated and he wonders who was calling him so early in the morning. He snorts when he sees who it is.

 

“Hey Justin,” he answers as he moves away from the kitchen.

 

“I'm here too,” a voice whines which makes Zhengting smile even wider.

 

“Hi Cheng Cheng.”

 

“Ge, did you miss us?” Cheng Cheng asks playfully.

 

“No,” Zhengting replies immediately.

 

The kids whine at the response. Then proceed to tell him that they are on their way back to China.

 

“Since you didn't miss us, I'm not bringing back the gifts I bought you, I'm gonna throw them away,” Justin tells him.

 

“Do whatever you want, Minghao dear,” Zhengting says carelessly which seems to get to Justin even more upset because the younger kid squawks in disbelief before promptly hanging up. Zhengting can still hear Cheng Cheng's laughter after the dial tone.

 

Zhengting cackles because he got the best out of Justin again. 

 

“Kids?” a voice asks him from behind.

 

Zhengting turns and sees Xukun looking at him with a smile on his face. “Yup,” he answers simply still laughing a bit.

 

“You made Justin hang up on you again didn't you?”

 

“Yes, that brat deserves it.”

 

“The last time you did that, he came after you and I had to save you remember?”

 

“Ha thanks for the reminder, and I'd like to see him try this time.” 

 

“That's the spirit, but if you need saving again, I'm right here,” Xukun tells him.

 

Suddenly there was an arm wrapped around his shoulders and Zhengting knows exactly who it is. And even if he hadn't, the change of demeanour in Xukun was enough to give it away.

 

“Sorry leader, that's my job,” Yanjun says with a smile. Zhengting elbows him but Yanjun doesn't move. In fact he is busy having a stare down with Xukun.

 

“Well I don't need someone to save me,” Zhengting says trying to break the tension.

 

“And I beg to differ baby, you do need to be saved because you suck at taking care of yourself,” Yanjun replies without looking at Zhengting.

 

Zhengting can see Xukun curling his hands into a fist. This has to stop before it turns into a fight. Luckily Xukun turns to leave without saying a word but not before he gives Zhengting a hurt look. 

 

Zhengting tries to go after him but Yanjun holds him back which pisses Zhengting off.

 

“What the hell are you doing?” he demands.

 

“Giving him a taste of his own medicine.”

 

“What are you even…?”

 

“Aren't you the one who said you wish Xukun can feel what you feel?” Yanjun asks him and yes maybe Zhengting had said that last night during his rant. But this didn't feel right. It hurt Zhengting to see Xukun hurt.

 

“Maybe I did… but…”

 

“No buts. Zhengting listen, do you trust me?”

 

Zhengting didn't have to think about that, he did trust Yanjun and maybe just maybe Kun deserved this the more he thinks about it. Zhengting has cried enough over Xukun, maybe some payback would be a good thing.

 

“Yes I trust you,” he answers without hesitation.

 

“Good, then let's play the game, you and me,” Yanjun says cryptically.

 

“What game?”

 

“You'll find out soon enough baby,” Yanjun says before kissing Zhengting on the forehead and turning to go the kitchen. Zhengting watches him go, feeling confused. 

 

\-----------------------------------------

 

Xukun walks into his room with Ziyi and slams the door shut behind him. He was so freaking angry. How dare Yanjun say that to him? And why was Zhengting letting him?. Was it too late?

 

Did he lose Zhengting already? This was his own damn fault. Xukun drops on his bed and screams loudly into his pillow. But that doesn't help. Not when all he wants is to hit Yanjun.

 

But he can't do that, because he was a leader and leaders don't cause fights. So he tries his best to calm down. All he has to do is talk to Zhengting right? He'll make him listen and finally Xukun will tell him how he feels.

 

Zhengting won't reject him right?

 

“Kun?” Ziyi calls shaking him a bit.

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“No I'm not. I'm gonna lose him aren't I? Lin Yanjun is going to take him from me right?”

 

“What are you talking about? You are not making any sense.”

 

“Haven't you seen them together? Haven't you seen how Zhengting smiles when he's with him?”

 

“Kun…”

 

“No, I'm going to tell him. He won't take him from me. I won't lose him,” Xukun says determinedly.  He stands up ready to head out when Ziyi grabs him and Xukun nearly punches him for that.

 

Except Ziyi isn't very easily deterred.

 

“Calm down. You can't just go up to him and drop this bomb on him. If you do, who knows how he'll react,” Ziyi tells him.

 

“But I have to talk to him.”

 

“And you wil,l but after you gather your thoughts first. Come on we have a meeting about the upcoming trip. You need to be a leader right now Kun.”

 

“Fine, but after, I'm going to talk to him.”

  
  


Half an hour later the seven of them were all piled up in the car headed to the company, Justin and Cheng Cheng were to meet them there. Xukun watches Zhengting as he takes the window seat and the one next to him was unoccupied but not for long. Yanjun takes it and Zhengting immediately flashes him a smile.

 

The sight angers Xukun but he is determined not to let it get to him. He takes his seat near Linong which was in front of Zhengting.

 

“Ugh stupid seatbelt,” Zhengting groans loudly.

 

“Woah woah what did the seat belt do to you?” Yanjun asks as Zhengting fights with the seatbelt like the child he was. Xukun loves this side of him a lot. He likes it when Zhengting is being carefree and happy. 

 

“It's stuck,”  Zhengting whines.

 

“You are such a kid,” Yanjun tells him with a laugh.

 

Zhengting rolls his eyes as Yanjun tries to fix it for him. “I can't find the problem, how about you take my seat?” Yanjun offers.

 

“But I want my window seat.”

 

“Zheng-ge you can have mine,” Linong tells him from his seat. Yanjun, Xukun, and Zhengting look at Linong who is smiling at Zhengting, completely unaware of the sudden tension.

 

“Is everybody here?” the driver asks as Zhangjing climbs into the car. He was the last one.

 

“Yes everyone is here,” Xukun answers breaking the tension.

 

“No nong it's okay, the office isn't that far anyways,” Zhengting says sitting back down at his original seat.

 

So you don't even want to sit next to me now? Xukun tries very hard not to let that get to him either. Zhengting was right anyways, the office wasn't very far from the dorms anyways.

 

They get to the company and are hurriedly taken inside. A small group of fans had gathered there and Xukun wonders how they even know these things. When they get inside, they all pile up into the elevator.

 

Zhengting stands in the middle of Xukun and Yanjun. Xukun can see Ziyi hiding a snicker when he sees them and Xukun is definitely going to get him back for that one.

 

When the door opens and everyone files out, Zhengting being Zhengting trips on air and ends up grabbing both Yanjun and Xukun.

 

“Watch yourself clumsy,” Yanjun says before he steadies him and dodges the hit that came his way. Zhengting moves to go after him but finds himself unable to move and that's when Xukun realises he still has Zhengting's arm in his grip. How did he end up grabbing him when it was Zhengting who had grabbed him in the first place.

 

“Sorry,” he apologises before letting him go and they both get out of the elevator. Before Zhengting can open his mouth though, the two of them are tackled by Justin and Cheng Cheng. 

 

“Oh great, there goes my peace,” Zhengting says.

 

Xukun snickers at the offended look on both kids faces. “What kind of parents are you, making fun of your own kids?” Justin whines.

 

“I don't remember having a kid named Justin or Cheng Cheng , do you Kun?” Zhengting asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Nope, last time I checked we only had two kids and neither of them were Justin and Cheng Cheng,” x]Xukun plays along.

 

“Ge,” both kids say in unison.

 

Zhengting and Xukun look at each other and smile. And suddenly it's like they were back on the show teasing Justin and Cheng Cheng whenever the two of them would get jealous when they spent time with Zhenghao. Especially Justin.

 

Justin is literally pouting at the two of them and just like every other time the two of them give in and hug him. Cheng Cheng joins in the hug.

 

When Xukun looks up, he sees Yanjun looking at them with a look that Xukun recognises all to well and he feels oddly satisfied with seeing it on Yanjun's face. 

 

“So what did you guys bring me? I know you guys went to explore when I left,” Zhengting asks as the four of them head to the waiting area where they had been told to wait.

 

“We did, but I'm not giving you any,” Justin says matter of factly.

 

Zhengting rolls eyes at the response.

 

“Hey what about me?” Xukun asks.

 

“You're not getting any either.” 

 

Zhengting turns to look at Xukun with a surprised look, “What did you do?”

 

Xukun freezes, there is no way he was telling Zhengting his conversation with Justin. At least not yet.

 

“Yes Kun-ge, what did you do?” Cheng Cheng asks with a knowing smile.

 

Oh great the other brat is in on it as well.

 

“Nothing, who knows what I've done when it comes to these two,” Xukun lies.

 

Both Justin and Cheng Cheng snicker and Xukun is ready to drop kick them. 

 

Zhengting just shakes his head, like he no longer wants to know. Their manager comes to get them and they all walk into the board room, Xukun takes his seat next to the manager, he wants Zhengting to sit next to him but Yanjun grabs his hand and steers him to another direction. The two of them sit at the end and Cheng Cheng sits next to him.

 

After a long two hour meeting, they are all released to go home. Xukun was beyond pissed, he was about to explode. Zhengting and Yanjun had spent the entire meeting whispering to each other and Zhengting giggling and looking fucking adorable while he was at it.

 

Xukun excuses himself and runs to the bathroom so that he doesn't explode right there in front of everyone. He takes deep breaths and try hard to calm himself. But the images won't leave him alone. Zhengting wasn't supposed to laugh with someone else.

 

The ugly thoughts, the ones he tries so hard to get rid off, come back with a vengeance.

 

_ Why would he want a broken person like you? _

 

_ Why would he want someone even his own father didn't want? _

 

_ Why would someone as beautiful and talented as Zhengting want with someone who is forever in trouble?  _

 

_ You deserve this. _

 

_ You deserve to be alone. _

 

_ Zhengting deserves to be with someone like Yanjun. _

 

Xukun tries hard to get rid of the thoughts, it wasn't working. The voices were getting louder. 

 

“Ge! Kun-ge!” a voice calls him loudly.

 

Xukun feels someone wrap their arms around his waist. Steadying him and he calms down a bit and looks behind him to see the terrified face of Justin.

 

He feels so ashamed at having the youngest one to see him like that, why did he have to break down? 

 

“Calm down ge, everything will be okay I promise,” Justin soothes him still back hugging him. Xukun closes his eyes and listens to Justin. They stay like that for a while after a while Justin pulls away and Xukun can’t look him in the eyes. He feels so damn embarrassed.

 

“Gege, seeing him with Yanjun-ge really hurts you, doesn't it?” Justin questions softly.

 

Xukun doesn't answer and Justin sighs.

 

“Ge, you have to tell him how you feel, tell him everything,” Justin says imploringly. 

 

Xukun freezes, yes he did want to tell Zhengting, as a matter of fact he had been pretty much determined to do so but after seeing him with Yanjun again. Seeing Zhengting laugh that inhibited loud ass laugh of his because of the Taiwanese, Xukun decided not to do it.

 

He can't make Zhengting happy, it was so clear now.

 

_ You fucked it up Cai Xukun, you fucked it up a long time ago and you can't get a second chance. It's not like you deserve it. _

 

There it was again the vicious voice inside his head.

 

“No,” Xukun answers simply.

 

“What?”

 

“No I'm not going to tell him. I..I can’t,” Xukun replies, closing his eyes because this hurts. It feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest and it's getting stomped on and he can't do anything about because he is fucking useless.

 

“Gege, please don't do this.”

 

“Justin, a few days ago, you were ready to kill me. You told me to stay away from him or you will cut my balls off, why are you asking me to hurt him now?”

 

“Ge I'm sorry I said all that before I knew how you felt, and that's the point it was before I knew how you truly feel.”

 

“No need to apologise, and I shouldn't have told you any of that. It doesn't matter anyways. I'm done hurting him,” Xukun tells him with a small smile.

 

“Ge.” 

 

Justin looks at him with tears in his eyes and this hurts Xukun. So he hugs him tight and the youngest one returns the hug.

 

What Xukun doesn't see is the complete look of determination on the younger boy’s face. It was the face of a person on a mission.

 

Huang Minghao also known as Justin is going to get them together. He was going to make sure of it.

 

Justin loves his Yanjun-ge, he really does. But Zhengting belongs with Xukun. He always has.

 

Justin can't take anymore of this nauseating mess. This angst. The two of them were both blind. Zhengting not seeing how much Xukun loves him and Xukun being to scared of being rejected.

 

So now it was up to him and his partner in crime. He can't do this without Cheng Cheng and maybe even Linong. That boy and his innocent smile can come in handy especially considering how much both and Xukun and Zhengting liked to baby him.

 

Xukun and Justin leave the bathroom and go to their van immediately. Justin takes his seat next to Cheng Cheng who immediately seems to sense something. Justin just shakes his head and Cheng Cheng wraps his arms around his shoulder.

 

Xukun sits with Linong and everyone seems to notice that something was off with their leader especially Zhengting who immediately turns to look at Justin with a questioning look. Justin plays dumb and he can see that Zhengting doesn't believe him one bit but let's it go.

  
  


Xukun tries not look at Zhengting, he really really does but just like always, he can't stop himself from looking at him. So Xukun sneaks a peak at him and finds him fast asleep, on Yanjun's shoulder with Yanjun's hand carding through his hair. He looked so content, so happy.

 

And just when Xukun thinks he can no longer get hurt, the sight causes something, something very important shrivels up inside him and dies inside his already dead chest.

 

But still, despite the frustrating tears that well up in his eyes, Xukun blinks them away and clenches his teeth to keep himself from shedding more.

 

Xukun is the first one out of the van, he claims first shower in one of the bathrooms, he quickly runs off before anyone can protest. Xukun goes into the bathroom and for the first time in a long time, he cries. He completely breaks down. He cries quiet and hard.

 

His tears sting hot and come out in muffled breaths, in mute gasps, his ribs hurt and his chest feels closed up. Zhengting is the only thing on his mind. He lost him thanks to his own stupidity. 

 

Here he was crying like the loser he was while Zhengting was busy being all the things he was to him but with Yanjun. Yanjun gets to see sleepy clingy Zhengting, Yanjun gets the smiley Zhengting, Yanjun gets touches that Xukun used to get. 

 

This made Xukun feels sick.

 

Xukun knows that it was his own damn fault, but he just really really missed Zhengting. So they weren't perfect but they were them. It had meant everything to Xukun and he wishes he had told Zhengting that.

 

When he leaves the bathroom,  his face clear, his hair dump, he knows his eyes are red, he passes Zhengting in the hallway, Zhengting who reaches out and touches him, concern written all over his face. And Xukun wants to scream at him, tell him to leave him alone so that he can attempt to heal and try to get over Zhengting.

 

But it's Zhengting, he can't do any of that.

 

“What's wrong, kun?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

With that Xukun walks away leaving Zhengting in the hallway.

 

\---------------------------------------

 

Zhengting has no idea what is happening, except that something  was going on with Xukun. The leader has barely spoken two words to him, except Zhengting has caught him looking at him more than once. It's true the two of them had barely been speaking to each other except for when absolutely necessary after Zhengting came back from Thailand.

 

Except the time when they made breakfast together, or when Justin had forced them to watch a movie with him, before he disappeared right before they could start the movie leaving Xukun alone with Zhengting with the most horrible awkwardness between them, or when Cheng Cheng made them go to the grocery store together, or when Linong had asked them to go out for a meal with him.

 

It's just things were happening and Zhengting has no clue what. 

 

Then there was Yanjun.

  
  


_ Two days after their meeting, Zhengting was beyond worried about Xukun who barely left his room if they didn’t have any schedules and they barely did. They were headed to L.A. so their schedules were particularly light.  _

 

_ Everyone used the free time to do whatever they wanted, Linkai spent half of it at Grammarie, Zhangjing had his own thing which he always seemed to drag Ziyi too, Linong had suddenly become part of Justin and Cheng Cheng, the three of them were always together, always whispering about something. _

 

_ Which left Yanjun and Zhengting together, not that he minded that one bit. Yanjun was fun to be around, he always made Zhengting laugh be it with his jokes or his random ass stories. _

 

_ Zhengting wondered how his brain even came up with those sometimes. Yanjun was like a rock, calm and steady and always there for Zhengting. He listened to his ramblings about everything even Xukun. _

 

_ Things were just fine until… _

 

_ “That movie sucked, I could totally guess the ending, why did you make me watch it?” Zhengting complained as he closed his laptop. _

 

_ “So what if you could guess it, it wasn't that bad,” Yanjun said defensively. _

 

_ Zhengting rolled his eyes “Yeah of course you..”  Zhengting did not finish his sentence because suddenly Yanjun was kissing him. Like his mouth on his, what the fuck was happening? _

 

_ Zhengting pulls away and his mouth drops open in shock. _

 

_ “I'm.. sorry I kissed you” Yanjun said before heading to the door but Zhengting was not going to let him do that so he grabbed his wrist. _

 

_ “What?” was all he could say. _

 

_ Yanjun looked at him and for the first time since they started hanging out, Zhengting noticed the look in Yanjun's eyes. Something he should have noticed in a while. _

 

_ Yanjun had feelings for him.  _

 

_ What the actual fuck? What was he going to do? _

 

_ Yanjun pulled his wrist because he probably read what was on Zhengting's face too but he didn't leave. _

 

_ “Go ahead Zheng, ask me what you want to ask, ask me what you already know,” Yanjun said instead. _

 

_ Zhengting closed his eyes, why is this happening? Zhengting didn't want to lose another friend. Why was he like this? Zhengting had hurt another friend before too. Something he regrets to this very day because things were never the same between them after that. _

 

_ Zhengting felt like he was cursed to like just one person. The same person who is at the moment locked away not giving Zhengting any time of the day. Zhengting pushes all thoughts of Xukun out of his mind and focuses on Yanjun. _

 

_ Zhengting makes a decision, he doesn’t know if he's going to regret it but he feels like he owes it to himself to try at least. _

 

_ “Do you like me?” Zhengting asked. _

 

_ Yanjun doesn't answer, so Zhengting moved closer to him. He brings his hands and cups Yanjun's face in his hands. _

 

_ “Answer me, Yanjun-ge.” _

 

_ “ Zhengting don't do this to me, please.” _

 

_ “But I'm not doing anything, please answer me.” _

 

_ Yanjun is quiet for a long time, staring at Zhengting's eyes. _

 

_ “Yes, I like you,” Yanjun said after a long moment. _

 

_ Zhengting smiles and reaches up to kiss him slowly before pulling away. _

 

_ “Good, because I like you too,” Zhengting said. And he did, Zhengting does like Yanjun, so what if he likes Xukun too? He can make himself get over him. With Yanjun, maybe he will finally be happy. _

 

“Zhengting, Zheng-ge wake up,” someone shakes him awake, and Zhengting jumps up with a start. 

 

“Woah calm down Ge,” the voice continues and it takes Zhengting a second to realise it was Justin. 

 

It was a dream, the whole thing with Yanjun was just a dream. Zhengting actually feels disappointed. Why did it feel so real? Especially the kiss. He slowly brings his hand as if in a daze and touches his lips. He can still feel Yanjun's lips on his.

 

“Ge, Zheng-ge.” 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine, I just...you know what never mind, what time is it and why did you wake me up?”

 

“It's past noon and I woke you up because we were supposed to be having lunch together”

 

“Past noon?” Zhengting asks in shock. He never oversleeps. Wait Yanjun was leaving this morning to go to Taiwan for a few days. Did he leave without saying goodbye? No Yanjun wouldn't do that.

 

“Yeah we wanted to wake you up but Kun-ge asked us not to,” Justin informs him.

 

Wait, Xukun asked them not to wake him?

 

“Huh?”

 

“Yeah Kun-ge said you needed to rest and this is the only time we have off before our crazy schedules begin.”

 

Zhengting feels that fluttering in his stomach again. Xukun was being thoughtful about him again. It's been a while since he has felt it and just like back then, it makes his heart swell.

 

But Zhengting shakes his feelings away, he doesn’t want to be under his spell again. So he asks about the one person who he has come to depend on. Someone who wasn't there.

 

“Where is Yanjun?” Zhengting asks Justin.

 

“Uh he left already,” Justin replies hesitantly.

 

“ He what?” Zhengting repeats, hoping he heard wrong.

 

“Yeah he and Zhangjing went to the airport an hour ago, is there something wrong?”

 

“No, it's just….” Zhengting swallows as closes his eyes, no he has no right to be mad about this. But it stings that Yanjun left without saying anything to him. It wasn't like Yanjun to do something like that.

 

“So um our lunch?” Justin looks at him expectantly.

 

“Right, I'll be ready in a few minutes, then we can go,” Zhengting tells him and Justin whoops and hugs him which causes Zhengting to laugh.

 

When Justin leaves, Zhengting flops back down on his bed with a sigh. Why didn't Yanjun say goodbye to him? Did he do something wrong? Zhengting sighs again before he gets up and that's when he saw it. A yellow post it on the head board of his bed.

 

Zhengting immediately plucks it and reads it.

 

_ Hey baby. _

 

_ I'm sorry I didn't wake you up to say goodbye. _

 

_ It's cause I'm not good at them, and I just hate saying them. _

 

_ Which is ridiculous cause I'll see you in a few days, but still... _

 

_ I can't say goodbye to you. _

 

_ Anyways don't miss me too much. I'll be back before you know it. _

 

_ P.s: I'm sorry I kissed you. _

 

_ Yanjun. _

 

Zhengting reads the note over and over again and nope, he didn't read it wrong. Yanjun apologised for kissing him. But when did Yanjun kiss him? He surely would have remembered something like that.

 

He takes out his phone ready to text Yanjun but for some reason he has no idea what to say. What the hell was happening?

 

Zhengting decides to bite the bullet and just go for it. 

 

_ What kiss? _

 

He texts.

 

Zhengting stares at his phone, until he realises Yanjun was probably still on the plane. So he won't be answering any time soon, but that doesn't mean he doesn't check his phone every two minutes while he was getting ready.

 

“Ge, hurry up,” Zhengting hears Justin call him as he exits his room

 

“Okay okay I'm coming,” Zhengting answers at the same time as someone else, someone who's voice is imprinted in his brain.

 

Zhengting looks up and finds himself face to face with Xukun looking as handsome as ever in his all black get up, while Zhengting himself is wearing a pale pink oversized dress shirt and some Gucci trousers and he feels under dressed.

 

Xukun looks surprised to see him and Zhengting feels offended a bit. But the more he thinks about it, the more he realises that Justin probably didn't tell Xukun that he was coming because the leader has been avoiding him since their meeting. They only spoke to each other when it was absolutely necessary.

 

“Hey,” he greets and he cringes inside, it's so freaking awkward.

 

“Hi,” Xukun answers.

 

“Great, you guys are ready,” Justin says as he climbs the stairs and comes to stand in between them.

 

Zhengting shoots Justin a look which the brat just ignores. “ come on, kun-ge you said you would take us to a good restaurant right?” Justin asks the leader as they go down the stairs and Zhengting is just feeling out of place.

 

How the hell was he going to survive whatever the hell this was, when he felt like he was intruding on something he shouldn't? Not to mention Xukun was barely acknowledging him.

 

It was frustrating because Zhengting has no idea what he did to make the leader avoid him. Sure they have their problems But they were best friends, although at this point Zhengting doubted they were even friends.

 

Zhengting gets into the van which had come to pick them up, meaning that this wasn't just something impromptu but something Xukun must have planned with the kids. And probably didn't know Zhengting was going to come along. 

 

If he had known maybe Xukun would have cancelled the entire thing, no way, Xukun wasn't that petty, whatever his problem with Zhengting he wouldn't do anything like that?

 

Would he?

 

“Ge, I'm so glad we are all going out together,” Cheng Cheng says excitedly practically bouncing in his seat. 

 

“Me too,” Linong says with a huge smile.

 

The kids make it easier on him. 

 

“Alright kun-ge, where are we going?” Cheng Cheng asks as they all settle down and buckle up. The van seemed oddly huge with just the five of them in it.

 

“You'll see when we get there,” Xukun answers with a sing song voice that has Zhengting snickering and the kids whine at the response.

 

Xukun turns and looks at Zhengting for the first time in a while, he smiles at him and Zhengting feels his heart literally skip a beat. Just one smile and Zhengting finds himself where he always has been, in love with Cai August Xukun.

 

But then his phone vibrates and he takes it out and sees Yanjun's reply. The reply makes Zhengting's heart race and he suddenly realises with a jolt. That he was in love with both of them.

 

What the hell was happening here?

 

How did he manage to fall in love with Yanjun too? And what was he going to do about it?

 

Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

  
  


_ The most beautiful and sweetest kiss I've ever had baby. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps. Please leave me some comments and kudos. 
> 
> They give me motivation to write faster


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